Monday, March 23, 2009

Don't Taze me Bro.

I just read about the Michigan teen who was killed by police tazers. Now, at this time, there's little meat to the story and I don't know the details, but I'm going to use this as a chance to jump off into a rant.

I wouldn't trust most cops with a potato gun. Especially the beat cops. They're usually dumb as rugs and on a power trip. I've had one friend and one acquaintance killed by police, one of which came across as outright murder. Now, I'm not some black guy living in the ghetto. I'm 6 feet tall. Fit. Healthy. Wealthy. College educated. White. And I drive a nice car. Yet I have never had a good experience with cops.

Oh, I separate out detectives and higher ranking police, I've had good experiences with them.

But not the troops. In my eyes, very little separates them from the slavering, violent masses from which they're supposedly protecting us. I can say this truthfully, I fear the police more than I fear my neighbor. The only advantage to tasers is that idiot cops would have otherwise used their guns and instead have this cool toy to play with.

But problematically, the tasers are seen as safe, as opposed to a weapon of last resort. I see them as a replacement for guns, not a supplement. A gun is more than a weapon of last resort. It's the last last resort. But no. Cops across the nation are replacing ordinary physical tussles with the taser. You're a cop, you lazy bastard. We pay you and give you a gun to face these trials. We don't pay you to whip out a tazer at the first sign of a cantankerous suspect.

I know how this sounds. The ranting of some anti-police loony. I am anti-police, but I'm not a loony. At least I don't think I am. I am anti-police because these men and women are stupid. Not all of them, obviously, but I would wager a majority of them. They are stupid people put into a position of extreme power. I don't want life to be easy for them. I want cops dying in the streets. I want them to fear going out to work. I want them to feel the cold stare of death on their backs at all times. I want them to understand as deep down as their pitiful intellects allow that the gun and badge they carry is a heavy, heavy burden. I want the job to nearly break them, every day.

Now, I don't want it to be said that I don't understand the police perspective. Many beat cops deal with more assholes in a day than a proctologist. I respect that. But you are being paid to deal with it. It's your job. The nanosecond you step out of line, for whatever provocation, you should be stripped of your badge. There is no room for error. No room for leniency. You are fired on the spot because a supposedly free system cannot allow its constituent parts to malfunction. Sounds like that makes the job too hard? Yeah. It makes the job sound pretty sucky. Which is why I'm not a cop, and why you shouldn't be either.

If you have a deep-seated belief in truth, justice, the American way, and service and protection, by all means, join up. I want someone like you as a cop. In fact, I'd like someone like you in public office. In fact, what are you doing Friday night? For all you other "cops," I wish you nothing but stress and ulcers in your hopefully short tenure as a police officer.

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