Saturday, January 20, 2007

We Have Idiots in Office Everywhere!

As some of you may have noticed, I have a "Save the Wolves" thingy on the right side of my blog. Well, the 63,000-some people who signed it is not a loud enough voice to hammer through the 40-inch thick skull of Idaho's current governor, C.L. “Butch'' Otter. First off, any man with a nick name, especially one as insipid as "butch," should never be allowed in office. Second, if they ever do somehow get into office, the state which elected him/her should be bombed.

I find it depressing and nauseating that a thundering Neanderthal like this redneck managed to get into office. He's actually politicizing the wholesale slaughter of the local wolf population because the poor, gun-toting loonies in the area are afwaid of dem! Pobrecitas! Jackasses is more like it.

Now, I'm not some weirdo who thinks hunting is wrong. In fact, I've got nothing morally against hunting (Confidentially, I don't really have morals at all. I consider them constructs from which I must escape). Hell, we have so many deer in the damn country we actually need hunters to off them! This is primarily because we've killed all the deer's natural predators, of course, but who needs logic, here? Pishaw!

So, I don't hate hunting, I just hate hunters! Long ago, hunters were important to gather food, but now we have supermarkets, so there must be another reason. It's not to save money. Guns, licenses, armor, trucks, and waiting for hunting season all cost a fortune. It's not for the freshest, most tender meat. That's farm-grown all the way. It's not for raw population control, or these guys would simple off the deer and leave it to be consumed by the natural processes of the woods.

So, in reality, what we have is a bunch of rednecks roaming the woods trying to... do... something. I'm not sure what. All I've ever heard is the macho bullshit about connecting with the primal man. Screw you! Primal man. Ha! I'm sorry, but going out into the woods with a high-powered rifle, scope, camo-flaj-ee, weird pheromone sprays and blowing away unsuspecting fauna is connecting with the primal man only if primal man had high-powered rifles, scopes, camo-flaj-ees, and weird pheromone sprays. If you strip down to your skivvies, clinch a knife between your teeth, and come out of those woods with three dead deer, I will buy you a drink, until then, shut up. You just like playing with guns because it's a big penis that shoots bullets (I don't necessarily subscribe to the object-as-penis idea, but it gets the point across).

Also, I'm not really worried about the wolves. The species will survive. This is more or less a screed I've had building in me for some time. I really, truly hate hunters. In general, I hate any gun-toting wackjob, but hunters earn special venom since they are everything I hate about myself. They are primal and ignorant (most of the hunters I've met border on retarded). And if they aren't ignorant, and are somehow intelligent and educated, then they are arrogant, self-obsessed, still-primal nitwits. They are stunning... no, shining... NO, coruscating examples of the slavering, ravaging, rapacious cavemen about which environmentalists scream their faces blue. They simply consume until their death, which, for me, can never, ever, come soon enough.

Idaho Governor Can't Wait to Kill Wolves (And is Generally Just an Asshole) (Via

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